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agirlnamedjude's Journal

Created on 2009-04-20 06:48:10 (#19650679), last updated 2009-11-20

13 comments received, 1,586 comments posted

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95 Journal Entries, 7 Tags, 52 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 30 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Jude Winchester = Original Character
Location:	United States

Bio

"hey jude, dont let me down."

My name is Jude, yes, Jude. And I'm a female through and through. My mom? Loved the song 'Hey Jude' and her and dad thought it would be hilarious to name me in honor of the song they first danced to. I grew up to people singing that song to me all the time. I was normal, well as normal as a girl could be. I had a good upbringing, don't get me wrong. I loved my parents, I just went downhill when I turned sixteen according to them. I fell in love, with this most amazing guy named Jason. We were happy as clams. No one saw what was going to happen next. Not even me. He proposed at the pier and then he blew his brains out. Mind you this is after I said yes. Found a note in his room a week later when i was helping his parents that said he really did love me and just wanted that reassurence before he died that I would. Or something. I don't remember, I actually try to forget. I? Started pulling away form everything and everyone. Tried killing myself three times and was seeing a shrink.

They tried pills and these stupid self help videos called Going Home, needless to say they didn't work, but I pretended that they did just so the sessions died down until they felt I didn't need them anymore. Apparently I'm a really good actress. Attempt three was almost successful until my best friend at the time found me and yanked my hands away from the rope around my neck.

No one gets it, I don't want to live. I don't have the motivation that some people do to have a life. My life ended a two year ago. Three times trying to kill myself should really tell a person that. I don't have friends, I don't make them either. I don't connect with anyone. I try to keep people away from me, the less they are attached to me the less it'll hurt when I'm gone.

Now I'm left with one choice. Get locked up, or run away. I'm completely voting for running. I didn't exactly run away, I went to celebrate my birthday with Tucker and my parents helped by making the choice for me. I wasn't welcomed home. So now I am on the journey with Tucker and his boyfriend Pete to Maryland, where apparently I'll be living with him. Hey, bright side of the whole thing is I won't be alone, Tucker actually cares about me and to top everything off? I have a boyfriend. His name is Michael and he kind of makes me half believe that soul mates really can exist in this screwed up world. Things are starting to look up.

Just gotta remember that what comes up always comes down.

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